Me. Just back.

I considered writing this post as though the 3 months that have passed since my last post never happened. Just pick up where I left off. But then I read my last post, and I realized that would be impossible with my “left off” subject being racquetball. I also realized I write a lot of fragmented sentences. Style, dear reader. (See? I did it again, only this time it was intentional.)

Although I haven’t been focusing on particular features to improve every week, and I obviously haven’t worried about blogging about it, I have become a better Elle. Let me catch you up:

1. My Spanish class is finished. Just writing that sentence makes a little warm tingly in my gut, like there’s a little furry happy bot in my belly…I’m going to stop here. That was just weird. But, for realsies – this is a huge accomplishment (for which I owe Kimberly great gratitude).

2. I am exercising. It’s hard to believe, but I’m training for a 5K coming up in August. And I’m happy to report that the pants I retired at the beginning of this year have been retrieved from the top of my closet. A thinner Elle is a healthier Elle.

3. My environment is cleaner and more organized! And I didn’t have to clean anything! I actually just moved into our guest room in the basement. The original reason was because it’s so blasted hot in my room, but one of the perks has definitely been how sullied this room isn’t by all my crap. I’m dreading the day I have to return to that pit of material despair.

I think that’s all worth blogging about. Tomorrow starts a new week, and this week will be “Elle’s Last Week was Crazy and This Self-Improvement Gig Will Respect Her Need for a Break” week. I have a lot of people to see this week (including an Enchanted evening…more to come with maybe pictures). A lot of events to go to. A lot of editing to get done. And this all culminates to a grand trip to see my dear friend Katie again. It’s been months since I’ve seen her, and I’m going to treat this weekend like a mini-vacation.

Welcome back, me.

Me. Just de facto.

I think I picked the wrong focus for this week. I haven’t done a lick of Spanish, but I’ve managed everything else that was on my list of possibilities, and then some other things I hadn’t even thought of. Like Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University. I did not expect to be spending so much time listening to it! But he and his wit and wisdom have sucked me into his world of financial peace, and I have to know what he thinks about everything! Social security. 401K’s. My outfit for tomorrow. Oh, Dave! Tell me what you think!!!

In leuiw…lue…loo (whatever) of my failure, I’m going ignore the nagging guilt and talk about racquetball. I’m actually copying this from an email I sent to someone earlier today.

I have to admit, tennis and I are not friends. One of the reasons I like racquetball so much is that I feel it’s the more likable cousin of the racquet sports family. For one, you’re in an air conditioned area. I hate being hot, and the sun likes to annoy the crap out of me by being perpetually in my eyes so I can’t see the tennis ball. And it makes me sweat like a man. Then there’s the whole containment thing. In tennis, chasing the ball all over the park is sad…and trust me, my skills require that I chase the ball more than I hit it. In racquetball, however, you need only to walk a few steps to retrieve the ball…in an air conditioned area! (That’s my favorite part. Can you tell?) And then there’s that wonderful “Wa!” noise the racquetball makes when you hit it just right. I call those little blue racquetballs Wally for this very reason.

Tada! De Facto Elle reigns supreme today! I don’t even feel bad…that’s how much she reigns.

Me. Just random.

Today has to be categorized as a “Bad Day”, but I don’t care. I had a very nice day, even if I only accomplished half of my goals. Some days are just meant to be pleasant, especially when it’s such a lovely spring day. I feel like I’m in Bambi when the snow melts and those flowers magically pop out of the ground. There were even horses running around in a field across the street from my new job. How charming!

Here are the top three reasons why I love my new job (in a very particular order):

1. I get to wear girl shoes.

2. No one throws up on me.

3. If someone does throw up on me, I’m pretty sure I get to go home.

And even if I didn’t get any Spanish homework done today, I did get two lessons mailed out. That’s worth celebrating (and a shout out to Kimberly for helping me do it!). I wish with all of my heart that house elves were real. Nothing could please me more than to come home to find that I do, indeed, have a floor and that it is carpeted. I think it’s brown. I can’t remember…it’s been a while since I’ve seen it. This is the most random post ever. Not very focused tonight, friends. I need to trim my nails.

Me. Just malapropos.

I feel ironic tonight, but I’m afraid to elaborate. Alanis Morissette really screwed my up with her song on the subject. And how many times have I said, “That’s ironic!” just to have someone else correct me. “No, it’s not. It’s a coincident.” Well, fine. Aren’t we just the most intelligent. I’m going to throw caution to the wind, however, and explain my emotion of irony…and I know. Irony isn’t an emotion. Chill.

Last night, I was surprised to find that week 2 of my Elle Improved project had flitted by me. Like a fairy. Only the fairy had run out of magic dust…I don’t know where this illustration is going. Please, pretend it was engaging.

Because Sunday came so quickly, I chose my focus for this week as I wrote my post. And today, on day 1 of week 3, I find myself with more focuses than I intended!

I started my new job. That takes some focus. Kimberly lent me her Financial Peace University cd’s so I can more efficiently join the Dave Ramsey bandwagon (which happens to also be the “I have a future” bandwagon). And I was overwhelmed by the need to schedule out my entire day tomorrow on a little white board, complete with meals, Bible readings, and a motivational sentence. “Live your day on purpose! Let’s see how that feels!”

Just last night I was at a loss for what to do with my week. And tonight I wonder if I have too much to do. And that’s why I feel ironic. Or coincidental…or whatever.

Me. Just caught flat-footed.

Two questions:

1. When did it become Sunday?

2. What the crap am I going to do next week?

Needless to say, I am completely unprepared for next week’s focus. My weekend was so busy and full of “I’m quitting” joyfulness that I haven’t had time to sit and think about what my next self-improvement project will be. Here are my options:

– Spanish: Spend two hours each night on homework. Also, make bean burritos and enchiladas.

– Website: Spend two hours each night on my website, making it entirely feasible to have it up and running by the end of the week.

– Budget: Work up a weekly budget (should be way easier now that I have set hours) and start saving…yada yada.

– Environment: Work on making and maintaining the kind of environment that will help me live the kind of life I want to (things like organizing my room, cleaning my car *gasp!*, and even emptying my purse).

I’m leaning towards the first option, since that is the most time-sensitive and is at the top of my priority list. It will, after all, determine whether or not I graduate this May. And I would so love to graduate. And so, I do believe we have a winner! This next week will be dedicated to the completion of my Spanish class. Tomorrow will be my designated “Elle’s Fine – Just Chill” day (especially since I’ll be focusing on my first day of my new job), but Tuesday will begin the vigorous study!

And two words to sum up this past week: I win.

Peace.

Me. Just narrating.

I am very impressed with me. I’ve “read” almost two books this week. And by “read” I mean “listened to.” God bless the person who thought of audiobooks. In a day like this, there are so many tasks that are mindless and could be made useful if we could just read while we do them.

Like today – when I spent nearly 4 and a half hours in my car. I needed only to spend 2 and a half, because that’s how long it takes a normal person to get from point A to point B (point A being my friend’s apartment, point B being my home). If you are directionally challenged, like myself, you are at the mercy of your GPS (we lovingly call ours Money Penny) or the guy at the gas station. In this case, I pitched the GPS because I don’t trust it and stopped to ask for directions.

“I’m so lost!” I exclaimed to the young guy behind the counter. He looked a bit flustered. My sunglasses had been hinged upwards to sweep my hair out of my face. If I learned one thing from my mother as a child (and I learned many) it was to always take off your sunglasses. Need to make a turn in traffic? Take off your sunglasses – let those men see your eyes. Want help getting large items out of your car? Take off your sunglasses. Need directions? You get the idea.

“Where are you going?”

As I told him, a queue (that’s a fun word!) formed behind me. I turned and apologized with my sunglassless eyes to the two men. One looked unimpressed. He, obviously, was acquainted with females and our charms.

“Well…” stumbled the clerk boy. “You want to go down this road. I can’t remember what it’s called…”

“Wait. I know where you need to go.” Interrupted the first guy behind me. He quickly paid for his junk food and walked outside with me.

“You want to take this road to the first light. Take a left. Go to the next light. Take a right. And then take that road all the way to your home town! I do it all the time.” He sounded so sure. I trusted him because I’m young and naive! I had used the sunglass trick – surely the man could not lie!

Well, now I’m hyperbolizing a bit. He didn’t lie to me, but he did give me some bogus directions. I went over an hour out of my way. His way led me to home, though, so for that I am grateful. And it did give me the chance to listen to more of The Spellman Files. It was a lovely day for a ride and a good book.

Me. Just visiting.

I am just awesome. No, really – even Improved Elle couldn’t have done better. Yesterday, I drove to a far away city where my dearest Katie lives, snuck into her apartment (her fault…she gave me the key), cleaned it, and waited for her to return from her trip to Seattle. Needless to say, we are having the most delightful two days together!

The almost 3 hour road trip gave me ample time to really dive into this whole “I’m literate” deal. I knew that I would finish Have a Little Faith by Mitch Albom about an hour into the trip (highly recommend it, by the way), so I ran over to Bargain Books before I left to see what I could get for cheap. I picked up a book called The Spellman Files by Lisa Lutz. Honestly, it was slim pickin’s at Bargain Books, but I am extremely pleased with my decision. I usually don’t enjoy novels written today, but this is just good fun. A wonderful pick for my journey to become better-read.

My 3 articles a day idea has been a flop. When I’m online, I’d much rather read my friend’s tweets or write my own blog posts than read a long, arduous article. Enter slate.com – my ignorance savior! They even had a delightful article about the sappy words used in the Olympics. You can read about that here. Not the most newsworthy subject, but I did read about the differences in the disasters of Haiti and Chile.

‘Nuff said. Gotta play with the bestie. I’m out.

Me. Just refocused.

Day 1 of “Elle’s Literate Week!” has been a semi-failure. I have not read 3 news articles (nor do I intend to), have not started The Me I Want To Be (no chance of that, either), but I have listened to Have a Little Faith in my car (that’s only because I was too lazy to switch over to the radio). I was up at 8:00 this morning, but had little luck with arriving 10 minutes early everywhere I went. I was 5 minutes early to work, just on time to dinner, and late to coffee with a friend afterwards. I’ve lost a bit of my gusto for my self-improvement project. I think this calls for a little vision casting!

When I think about Improved Elle, I think of her in increments. First, there’s next week’s Improved Elle – more literate and more timely. Then there’s next month’s Improved Elle, Improved Elle 3 months from now, etc. Tonight, I want to talk about the latter.

3 months from now, I want to be more organized – live a little less cluttered day to day. That’s where the time management comes in. I want to have more time to do things like read, which is where time management and my literacy endeavor come together. And I want to live in a space that encourages growth, not hinders it. Currently, my personal space reflects my life: controlled chaos. Piles have overtaken my furniture and floor, and while they’re organized piles, they’re clutter and mess. The same is true of my car. I think I saw a pop tart flying around the passenger’s side this morning. Those pop tarts are so tricksy…

So, 3 months from now, I want to have created environments conducive to self-improvement efforts. And I want those environments to encourage me to give my best. How’s that for a little vision casting? I feel better already! And in the spirit of my “no more tomorrow” commitment, I will go read three news articles. Booyah!

Me. Just literate.

I love to read…in theory. As a child, I enjoyed the occasional story, especially if there were pictures involved (I like art, ok?). Then, my 4th grade teacher had an inspired idea. “I should make my students read 30 books in one year!” Brilliant, Miss C…Ch…gah! I can’t remember her name. I’m officially old. Anyways, my teacher had discovered the most effective way to suck the fun out of reading for a child.

It wasn’t until high school that Jane Austen helped me rediscover the joy of delving into a story. I read all I could: Pride and Prejudice, Little Women, Eight Cousins, Harry Potter, etc. And then I went to Bible college. And that’s where I discovered the most effective way to suck the fun out of reading. Commentaries. I love Jesus. I love the Bible. I very much dislike commentaries. And I almost failed a class because of my stubborn refusal to do all the reading the crazy man assigned (and by crazy I mean brilliant…the man was just wicked smart…probably because he read all that stuff he assigned). Thankfully, I aced the final exam.

All of this to say – I haven’t read a book in a really really long time. Other than Twilight, but that’s not literature. That’s girl porn.

And so, this week I will focus on becoming more well-read. Here’s the plan of attack:

1. Have a Little Faith by Mitch Albom on audio – The author (yes…the man himself) is coming to speak at my church in two weeks, so I figure it’s a good idea to read the book. Also, I’m producing a video for the week afterwards based on excerpts from the book. I consider this research. And I have it on audio, so I can listen in my car.

2. News – Every day I will read three articles from a reputable news source. Entertainment news will be considered extra-curricular.

3. The Me I Want To Be by John Ortberg – I got this book a few weeks ago and it is fast collecting dust on my shelf. I will start it and read a little each day.

4. Don’t push it – I will not force myself to read more than I want to. Otherwise, I’ve turned into my 4th grade teacher. The point is to rekindle my relationship with the written word. Not resurrect the genuine hatred I’ve hidden in my heart for so long.

Week 2 starts tomorrow. Oh…wait. No, that’s ok. Tomorrow’s legit in this case. Tomorrow!

Me. Just refreshed.

My first week as a better Elle is coming to a close. When I told a friend about my new project, she made a very keen observation. “A week isn’t very long to change something about yourself.” This is true, but I won’t be ending my journey of better time management on Monday. It will continue along with the new focus of that week. And what will next week’s focus be? I’ll write about that tomorrow.

8:00 am Is Silly Day was almost a failure. My sister, who had not read yesterday’s post, burst into my room around 9:30. “Wait…I thought you were getting up at 8:00.”

“It’s 8:00 am Is Silly Day. I hate you.” I mumbled.

And so, I rolled reluctantly out of bed and ate a donut. It was pretty delicious. At about 11:00, I rolled back into bed and slept until almost 2:00. And that means that 8:00 am Is Silly Day was a smashing success!

That also means that I don’t have much to say about a better Elle. Except that maybe taking a break from self-improvement needs to be a part of the process. I’ll take that under consideration, De Facto Elle. Even if  it’s just a ploy for laziness.